The Good Girl and Aging (Not So) Gracefully

Lately, I've found myself thinking about aging. Usually, I try to avoid that line of thinking. Birthdays haven't been something I've looked forward to since, well the early Clinton administration. Funny, in my mind I think of myself as much younger than my actual years. I don't have an exact number in my head but it's no where near the real one. It's a disconnect, but I can live with it. I tell myself that I am still young. Immaturity helps. Denial also works wonders.

Then something happened that I couldn't deny. The wrinkle. It suddenly appeared, under my left eye. The dreaded "crepe-paper" type of wrinkle, too! I hoped it was from not enough sleep and being sick recently. Then came the thought that I should have listened to my mother warning me about all that sun exposure as a teen. Did I listen? Of course not. I wore no sunscreen. My friends brought baby oil to the beach. I did everything but have one of those shinny aluminum pans under my face. And this wrinkle was the result.

In reality, it wasn't just the sun's fault. I'm getting older, despite the number in my head. Over 40 million Gen-Xers are going into their forties. I had believed that aging wouldn't bother me. Yet when I saw that wrinkle, I had to fight back. I started slathering on under-eye creams. Kept my sunglasses on. I felt very self-conscious about it. I was surprised at my level of vanity. I wasn't ready to look old! Fighting the aging process is big business. A search for wrinkle prevention brought up three million results. Roughly $14 billion is spent on cosmetic procedures yearly. Yes, that was a "b."

In the end, the wrinkle that has caused me such distress turned out to be dry skin that stubbornly stuck around for a couple of weeks. A tiny nuisance that quickly passed. It became clear to me that the thought of getting older scares me more than I care to admit.

Age may just be a number and it all in your head. But for me it was a different matter when it was on my face. My hope that my next age-related freak out will be on a lesser scale. It took awhile for me to feel comfortable in my own skin, so it may take a little longer to adjust to the fact the skin isn't as wrinkle-free as it was once.